Small talk and Evangelism

Small talk and Evangelism

From Evangelism Tales

By Neil McBride

A few days ago, I had the opportunity to tour the Houses of Parliament with my church community, marking my first visit to this historic site. The experience was enlightening, and engaging with fellow Christians strengthened my faith. A small group of us took the train, which provided us an hour to discuss various topics, ranging from the nuances of popular Canadian comedy shows to the developments surrounding Everton FC’s new stadium and the rising prices of coffee in today’s economy.

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,  not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

(Hebrews 10:24-25)

Upon our arrival at the location, we successfully navigated the security checks before proceeding to the quaint shop. Although I refrained from purchasing coffee to potentially lower my caffeine consumption, my appreciation for the beverage remains strong. The tour commenced, and I found the entire experience quite enriching.

At the end of the tour, a church member inquired if it was permissible to distribute some of our leaflets. I explained that this was not allowed due to our presence in a private area and the stringent security measures at the House of Parliament, including CCTV, which are vital for ensuring public safety. This encounter underscored the importance of adhering to regulations, particularly in sensitive environments.

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

(Proverbs 15:22)

This brief conversation sparked some reflections on my approach to evangelism. Engaging in this practice goes beyond simply distributing leaflets; it revolves around cultivating emotional connections. It can be tempting to take refuge behind printed materials or a podium. In today’s blog, I aim to explore the nuances of small talk, emphasising the importance of keeping interactions genuine and straightforward.

Just last week, while enjoying a moment in my local coffee shop, I noticed a group of men in smart suits outside, gathered on the local high street. It was a Sunday, and they were sharing their faith before heading to their meeting. I admire their commitment to their mission. However, as Christians, we sometimes present ourselves in a way that may seem almost superhuman through our attire, behaviour, and actions. We must remain relatable and approachable in our interactions with others.

Let’s explore the nuances of small talk and discover effective ways to engage in straightforward conversations. This will enable us to share the love of Jesus Christ with every individual we encounter. A good question to ask is: What is small talk?

Small talk is casual communication that avoids substantive topics or important transactions. At its core, this form of dialogue allows individuals to engage in polite exchanges regarding trivial matters, fostering social connections and creating a comfortable, conversational atmosphere.

If you wish to explore ways to enhance your evangelism style, engaging in small talk will create numerous opportunities. When I was on the train, returning from London,

I found myself at a table seat on a bustling train journey from London to Kent, a route frequented by many commuters during this busy time. My friends settled in with their earphones, immersing themselves in the rhythm of their music while the carriage filled with fellow travellers.

In this lively environment, a gentleman, a stranger, sat beside me. Engaging with him felt natural, so I inquired about his day. He replied that it was going well, which sparked my curiosity about his recent activities. Knowing he had been in London. I used that to deepen our conversation.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

(James 1:19)

 

I posed a question I hoped would encourage him to share more: “So, what brings you to London today?” To my intrigue, he shared that he had applied to be a contestant on a TV show called First Date. This revelation opened up an inviting discussion about his aspirations and experiences related to the show, illustrating how interactions on a simple train journey can lead to insightful exchanges.

We spent five to ten minutes discussing dates and posed a few follow-up questions about why he was applying for the show. He mentioned that he had been married for 39 years. I felt it was inappropriate to inquire further about his previous marriage and preferred to keep the focus on potential dates. As Christians, we enjoy discussing matters related to Jesus Christ. One of my evangelical principles is listening to the other person. I enjoy learning about new individuals; this curiosity is part of an evangelist’s personality. The Gentleman shared with me a great deal of personal and

When conversing, it’s wise to avoid sensitive subjects such as finances (including wages or salaries), political beliefs, religious views, death matters, age, and personal appearance. These topics can be deeply personal and may lead to discomfort or offence. Additionally, it’s best to avoid using potentially offensive humour to break the ice and discuss narrow topics, past relationships, and health issues. Such conversational areas can often be perceived negatively or may unintentionally upset others. Being mindful of these boundaries can help foster a more positive and respectful dialogue.

In matters of faith, a true Christian should not be constrained by the structures of organised religion. Instead, we are called to cultivate a dynamic relationship with God, guided by our commitment to follow Jesus Christ rather than strictly adhering to human-made commandments. It’s intriguing to observe that when we raise topics from the Bible, many individuals tend to label us as religious. This often results in a reluctance to engage in discussions unless they have a specific interest or wish to debate the matter. From my experience, I’ve found that initiating conversations on various subjects is more effective than diving straight into discussions about the gospel. This approach fosters a more open and inviting dialogue.

Let us delve into several insightful topics and strategies related to small.

Ask open-ended questions.

Many people enjoy sharing their personal experiences and perspectives. Talking about familiar topics- our interests, preferences, and aspirations- is usually more comfortable than delving into unfamiliar subjects. For instance, someone might find it challenging to express their thoughts on the complexities of 14th-century glassblowing, while discussing a favourite book feels much more intuitive. Engaging with open-ended questions can lead to vibrant and meaningful conversations, allowing others to express their thoughts more freely and deeply.

As I share my message, I prioritise listening over speaking. In my earlier years, I realised that I often dominated conversations, which diminished the quality of my interactions. I began asking open-ended questions about people’s beliefs regarding God, Jesus, and biblical teachings to address this. I find great value in understanding where individuals stand in their faith journeys. When someone expresses disbelief in God, I engage them with further open-ended inquiries to explore the reasons behind their views. This approach fosters constructive dialogue about spirituality instead of igniting conflict, transforming the exchange into a thoughtful discussion about faith.

Practice active listening

Engaging in active listening strengthens our connections and enhances the quality of our interactions. When we fully immerse ourselves in a conversation, we show our conversation partners they are valued and respected. This attentiveness allows us to ask insightful questions and helps us remember important details for future discussions, thus enriching our communication.

In evangelism, the importance of listening cannot be overstated. It serves as a reminder that we have one mouth and two ears, highlighting the need to listen more than we speak. While we learn to converse from a young age, the art of genuine listening often goes unaddressed in our upbringing. There are essential techniques to demonstrate our engagement, but I will refrain from detailing them now. The key takeaway is wholeheartedly dedicating our attention to the other person, affirming their worth and fostering meaningful dialogue.

Small Talk Topics

Having a few thoughtful small talk topics can significantly enhance your ability to engage in meaningful conversations and alleviate any anxiety associated with entering new social settings.

 

Local Area

One effective approach is to reflect on your environment. If you find yourself in a picturesque hotel or a striking conference centre, these locations can provide ample material for discussion. Consider the town’s unique aspects or share your experience visiting an intriguing attraction nearby.

These topics can readily serve as conversation starters. You can take the initiative to discuss them or invite others to share their insights. Regardless of the approach, these discussions can lead to valuable new connections.

I love studying the area where I share God’s love. It is much easier when you are in your local region, where you can understand the culture and background. My local area has a wealth of history, particularly associated with Charles Dickens. However, if I visit another church in an unfamiliar town, I first conduct my research. I enjoy studying and learning new things; exploring your knowledge of your surroundings is beneficial for the mind. God has created the world so we can celebrate His creation. I use local buildings to spark conversations, but the building does not need to be famous to initiate engagement. Sometimes, asking someone directly from the local coffee house is a great way to open a healthy debate.

 

Entertainment

Sharing recent entertaining experiences can be a great way to break the ice in conversations at happy hours or after-work events. You might enjoy discussing a Netflix series that has captured your attention, a recent film that intrigued you, the books on your reading list, the podcasts you are following, or any theatre performances you have attended.

I recognise that I don’t spend countless hours each day immersed in spiritual activities like studying the Bible for five hours, praying in tongues for three, or participating in continuous fellowship. There are moments when I strive to maintain a sense of normalcy. I enjoy watching comedies on Netflix, running during England’s brisk months, and reading. While my faith brings me joy, I also believe in cultivating diverse hobbies and interests, which can lead to engaging small talk. Running holds a special place in my heart and is a popular pursuit in England. I’m always eager to grab a coffee and have an extensive conversation about running—it’s truly a passion of mine!

Art

Engaging in a conversation with someone who appreciates art can significantly enhance the quality of the dialogue. Start by asking about the museums they have visited or those on their wish list. To deepen the conversation, explore their favourite exhibits and artists and encourage them to share any gallery recommendations they might have.

 

Discussing the evolving landscape of the art world can also be intriguing. Are there any emerging trends that capture their interest, such as “post-internet art”? Encouraging them to share their perspectives on these subjects fosters meaningful exchanges and establishes a deeper connection between you.

While I may not be deeply passionate about art, I recognise and respect the immense effort and creativity that goes into each piece. I understand there is always a story behind every artwork that narrates the artist’s unique perspective. When visiting an art gallery with a friend, I enjoy engaging in stimulating discussions about the pieces on display. This approach can also work with strangers; everyone has opinions and interpretations, making it a fantastic way to initiate conversation.

Restaurant

Food is a fantastic topic for small talk, as most people enjoy it and often feel passionate about it. One effective way to initiate a conversation is to ask for restaurant recommendations or about favourite dishes.

For those who don’t dine out often, a more personal approach could be asking about their favourite meals to prepare at home. You might mention an upcoming event and seek their advice on what to cook or bring. For instance, you could say, “I need to prepare dessert for a housewarming party with ten guests: two vegans, one person with a nut allergy, and another who avoids gluten. What would you suggest?”

Research shows that people respond more positively when asked for advice than when they receive a straightforward request. This strategy allows the other person to share their culinary expertise and enriches your conversation with valuable recipe suggestions.

Social norms can sometimes feel limiting, and everyone should be free to express themselves. A universal truth is our need for food to truly enjoy life, and many of us have our favourite dining spots. I find that asking about preferred restaurants is one of the best icebreakers. Questions like, “What’s your favourite place to eat?” or “Where can I find the best Chinese cuisine?” often ignite engaging discussions about food.

Reflecting on my experiences, I recall a time when I was sharing good news and saw a woman enjoying fries from a local McDonald’s. I approached her and casually asked for a chip. To my delight, she shared one, which led to an unexpected yet meaningful conversation that felt truly enriching. Moments like these highlight the power of food as a connector in our interactions.

 

Hobbies

Exploring the passions and interests of those around you can lead to meaningful and enriching connections. Engaging in conversations about what captivates them can spark lively exchanges filled with enthusiasm.

 

Inquire about how they spend their leisure time and the activities that bring them joy outside of their professional commitments. Delving into what inspired them to pursue these interests might reveal remarkable contrasts between their childhood hobbies and current pursuits. It could also highlight their exciting new endeavours, such as sushi-making, novel writing, or salsa dancing.

 

Everyone has a hobby, and most people enjoy discussing their favourite interests, making this a safe and inviting topic for conversation. Exploring others’ lives and asking how they spend their spare time often leads to naturally flowing dialogue. When I engage with people, I aim to create an atmosphere of relaxation and openness. This comfort level increases trust and makes it easier to share deeper conversations, including topics related to faith or other significant matters.

 

Sport

Many individuals are keen on discussing sports, while others might prefer to avoid the subject altogether. The following guidelines can help promote more inclusive and meaningful conversations about sports.

First and foremost, when engaging with a group of two or more, it’s essential to gauge everyone’s interest in sports. This check helps ensure all participants feel included and invested in the discussion.

Secondly, while passionate debates can be enjoyable, it is crucial to maintain respect and decorum, especially in networking settings. If the conversation becomes overly intense, it may be wise to change the subject to preserve a positive and inclusive atmosphere.

Living in England, where football is the national sport, I have noticed that many people support their local teams. As a supporter of Gillingham, I appreciate how sports can spark engaging debates and connections. Initiating conversations by recognising someone in a sports kit is an excellent way to break the ice; I often ask about their team and upcoming matches, even if I’m not an avid follower. While not every Christian may share a passion for sports, those who do can leverage their interest to foster connections and engage in meaningful dialogue.

The Weather

Weather often prompts interesting conversations. While it may initially seem like a simple topic, approaching it thoughtfully can turn it into a rich dialogue filled with insight and connection.

One effective way to engage someone is by asking about their plans in light of the current weather conditions. For instance, if rain is forecasted, you might ask if they’re considering a cosy night with a film. Conversely, questions about plans for a barbecue, outdoor activities, or dining outside can lead to lively exchanges if it’s sunny.

In the United Kingdom, the unpredictable nature of the weather makes it an accessible icebreaker. We can experience pouring rain one day and brilliant sunshine the next. The changing seasons also provide various discussion points. Bringing up the weather is a great way to initiate conversation. A few years ago, while waiting at a train station with a friend from church during a light rain but warm temperatures, I noticed a gentleman also waiting for a train. I remarked, “Why does it always rain when I’m outside?” This light-hearted comment encouraged him to share his thoughts about the quirks of British weather, illustrating how such a simple topic can foster meaningful dialogue.

Travel

Discussing travel can be a powerful way to connect with others, even if they haven’t ventured far from home. Asking someone whether they’ve travelled anywhere interesting recently can prompt rich discussions that unveil personal stories and insights. Whether it’s a spontaneous weekend break, an elaborate summer holiday, or a lifelong dream journey, this simple question can encourage even the more reserved individuals to share their cherished experiences or aspirations for future explorations.

To deepen the conversation, consider following up with questions about their itinerary. Ask what local cuisines they are looking forward to tasting or which souvenirs they intend to return as keepsakes. This can enrich the dialogue and enhance your understanding of their interests and passions.

I visited a local bookshop and saw two gentlemen exploring various travel books. I engaged them and asked for their recommendations on potential destinations for my next holiday. Their insights are likely invaluable in refining my travel plans. I set the stage for a productive conversation by making them comfortable and building trust. It’s crucial to approach discussions carefully; coming on too strong with religious topics like the Bible often leads to unproductive outcomes. While sharing the good news is important, we must also consider how to do so without disappointing anyone.

Conclusion

The above topics serve as critical pathways for the gospel to reach others. While engaging directly with the Bible, discussing the gospel, or sharing personal testimonies can yield positive results, we, as Christians, must continually improve our communication skills. I am a somewhat reserved individual and have faced challenges in conversations. Nevertheless, I refuse to let my limitations define the person the Lord intends me to be. In moments of weakness, we often uncover His strength. It is He who saves souls and possesses the power of salvation. Therefore, we must trust Him, especially when we encounter difficulties conveying good news. Amen!

Small talk and Evangelism

DTA – Neil McBride

(CEO and founder of Downtown Angels)