“How to Tell When You’re Ready for Marriage: A Practical Guide”

“How to Tell When You’re Ready for Marriage: A Practical Guide”

From Dating Advice

How to Know You’re Ready for Marriage:

Marriage is one of the most sacred and significant commitments a person can make. For Christians, it’s more than a legal agreement or a romantic milestone; it’s a covenant before God. So, how do you know if you’re truly ready to take that step? Here are key biblical and practical signs to help you discern if you’re prepared for marriage.

1. Your Relationship with God Comes First

Before you consider committing your life to someone else, you must examine the most important relationship in your life: your relationship with God. Is Christ truly the centre of your life? Are you walking daily with Him in faith, obedience, and love?

Jesus teaches in Matthew 6:33, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” This verse isn’t just about trusting God to provide our material needs; it’s a blueprint for prioritizing our lives. When we place God first, everything else, our desires, relationships, goals, and even our longing for marriage falls into its proper place.

Why This Matters for Marriage

Marriage is not just a partnership between two people: it’s a covenant between a man, a woman, and God. Without Him at the centre, the foundation of the relationship becomes shaky. When first grounded in Christ, people are better equipped to love with patience, extend forgiveness, practice humility, and endure hardships. This spiritual grounding creates unity, direction, and lasting strength.

Psalm 127:1 reminds us, “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labour in vain.” If you’re building your future marriage without God, you’re building on sand. But if your relationship is rooted in God’s Word, prayer, and obedience, you’re setting a firm foundation that can weather life’s storms.

Signs Christ is at the Centre of Your Life

• You spend regular time in prayer, worship, and Bible study.
• You seek God’s will in your decisions, including romantic ones.
• You prioritize obedience to God over personal convenience.
• You find your identity in Christ, not in your relationship status.
• You strive to reflect Jesus’ love, grace, and truth in all areas of your life.

This kind of devotion isn’t about perfection; it’s about fully surrendering. It means saying, “Lord, I trust You more than I trust myself. If marriage is Your will for me, I want it to be in Your timing, Your way, and with someone who shares the same devotion to You.”

Don’t Look for a Savior, You Already Have One

Sometimes, people rush into marriage for emotional security, identity, or healing from past wounds. But no human being, no matter how godly or loving, can meet your soul’s deepest needs. Only Jesus can do that.

If you expect your future spouse to be your source of joy, peace, or purpose, you’re setting the relationship up for disappointment. But when you are already secure in God’s love, you can enter marriage not to be filled but to give out the abundance Christ has already poured into your heart.

A Christ-Centered Life Reflects on Relationships

When you walk closely with God, you change the way you relate to others. You begin to love more selflessly, forgive more quickly, and serve more humbly. You no longer seek control, recognition, or validation from your partner because you are already fully known, accepted, and loved by God.

Philippians 2:3-5 encourages us, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves… In your relationships, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.” A heart shaped by the gospel becomes the soil where a godly marriage can grow and flourish.

2. You Understand the Purpose of Marriage

In today’s culture, marriage is often portrayed as a path to personal happiness, companionship, and romantic fulfilment. While these blessings can certainly be part of marriage, they are not its ultimate purpose, at least not from a biblical standpoint. If you’re preparing for marriage, it’s essential to understand what God designed marriage to be.

A Reflection of Christ and the Church

Ephesians 5:25–27 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church.” This is one of the most powerful descriptions of marriage in Scripture. The relationship between husband and wife is meant to mirror the love, sacrifice, and covenant commitment that Christ has with His people.

Marriage is more than an emotional bond; it is a spiritual mission. It’s a lifelong partnership designed to glorify God, advance His kingdom, and shape each person into Christ-likeness.

Marriage is About Mutual Sanctification

One of the most overlooked purposes of marriage is sanctification, the process of becoming more like Jesus. In marriage, your flaws, fears, and selfish tendencies are exposed not to shame you but to help you grow.

You are ready for marriage when you realize it is not always easy, and that’s good. God uses your spouse as a tool for your spiritual growth. Together, you refine one another, encourage each other, and hold each other accountable. Marriage isn’t just about enjoying life together; it’s about becoming holy together.

Marriage Requires Service and Selflessness

Philippians 2:3–4 teaches, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” This is the heartbeat of a healthy marriage.

Love in marriage is not based on feelings alone; it’s an action and a daily choice to serve and prioritize your spouse. Are you prepared to give without expecting in return? To serve when you feel tired? To listen when you’d rather speak? These sacrificial acts are the true expressions of covenant love.

Unity in Spirit and Purpose

Marriage also means becoming one flesh, not just physically but spiritually, emotionally, and directionally. Amos 3:3 asks, “Can two walk together unless they are agreeable?” A couple must be aligned in their vision for life, their values, and their faith.

Before entering marriage, ask: Are we united in our love for God? Do we share a similar understanding of marriage and why it matters? Are we willing to walk side by side in life’s challenges, trusting God’s plan over our own?

3. You’re Emotionally and Spiritually Mature

Marriage is not a place to find healing for brokenness that only God can heal. It’s a union of two individuals willing to grow, forgive, and love even when difficult. Emotional and spiritual maturity are critical indicators that you’re ready to carry the weight of this covenant.

Emotional Maturity: Responding, Not Reacting

Being emotionally mature doesn’t mean you never feel hurt, frustrated, or angry. It means you’ve learned to manage those emotions with wisdom rather than letting them control you.

Ask yourself:

• Can I handle disagreement without exploding or shutting down?
• Do I take responsibility for my mistakes without blaming others?
• Am I able to have hard conversations with love and respect?
• Do I remain calm under pressure or allow emotions to dictate my responses?

Proverbs 14:29 says, “Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.” Emotional maturity involves knowing how to wait, listen, and respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively.

Spiritual Maturity: Walking in the Fruit of the Spirit

Galatians 5:22–23 outlines the qualities that should mark the life of every believer, qualities that are essential in marriage:

• Love: Unconditional and sacrificial, not based on performance.
• Joy: Rooted in Christ, not in the circumstances.
• Peace: The ability to remain calm and grounded in God during trials.
• Patience: Choosing grace over irritation.
• Kindness & Goodness: Treating your spouse with compassion and generosity.
• Faithfulness: Staying committed in thought, word, and action.
• Gentleness: Communicating with tenderness, even when correcting.
• Self-Control: Saying no to selfish impulses and yes to what builds up the relationship.

You won’t display these perfectly every day, but a consistent pattern of spiritual growth is a good sign of readiness. Are you growing in these areas? Are you allowing the Holy Spirit to shape your character and convict your heart when you fall short?

Humility and a Teachable Spirit

James 4:6 says, “God opposes the proud but shows favour to the humble.” A humble heart is willing to admit when it’s wrong, to ask for forgiveness, and to seek God’s help in changing.

Maturity means recognizing that you don’t have all the answers and are still learning. In marriage, this attitude is invaluable. You’ll face unexpected challenges, and your willingness to grow through them, not avoid them, will determine the strength of your relationship.

4. You’ve Sought Godly Counsel

One of the most overlooked but essential steps in preparing for marriage is seeking wise, godly counsel. While it’s tempting to rely solely on our judgment or feelings for our partner, Scripture teaches us the value of surrounding ourselves with spiritually mature voices who can speak truth into our lives.

Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” God has designed the body of Christ to function as a family, where older believers mentor the younger and where wisdom is shared freely out of love and concern.

If you are considering marriage, ask yourself:

• Have I invited input from trusted mentors, pastors, or mature Christian couples?
• Am I open to hearing concerns, not just praise?
• Have I prayed for discernment to weigh their advice with humility?

Sometimes, those closest to you can see potential red flags or underlying issues that are harder to spot when you’re emotionally invested. That doesn’t mean they’re trying to ruin your relationship; it may be God’s way of protecting you or calling you to slow down and evaluate things more carefully.

At the same time, affirmations from trusted believers can be incredibly encouraging. When others see spiritual fruit in your relationship, respect, unity, growth, and godliness, it can help confirm that you’re walking in the right direction.

Remember: Seeking counsel is not a sign of weakness; it’s a mark of humility and wisdom. Proverbs 19:20 reinforces this: “Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end, you will be counted among the wise.”

5. You and Your Partner Share Core Beliefs and Values

Spiritual alignment is one of the most foundational aspects of a healthy, lasting marriage. 2 Corinthians 6:14 clearly warns: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

While this verse is often quoted in dating and marriage conversations, its importance cannot be overstated. Being “yoked” refers to two oxen bound together to plough a field; they must move in the same direction, at the same pace, with the same purpose. The work is frustrating, slow, and sometimes destructive if they aren’t aligned.

Likewise, when two people in a marriage don’t share the same core beliefs, especially regarding faith, their relationship can become a battleground of values rather than a place of peace.

That doesn’t mean you have to agree on every theological detail. However, your beliefs about the most important things, who Jesus is, the authority of Scripture, your understanding of marriage and family, and your commitment to the local church, must be in harmony.

Ask yourself:

• Do we both have a personal relationship with Jesus?
• Are we both growing in our faith and committed to spiritual disciplines?
• Do we share a vision for what kind of marriage and family we want to build?
• Do we agree on the role of faith in our finances, parenting, and lifestyle?

A shared spiritual foundation doesn’t eliminate challenges but gives you a common compass to navigate them. When Christ is Lord over both your lives, you can walk forward in unity, even when times get tough.

6. You Can Communicate Openly and Resolve Conflict

No marriage is free from Conflict. Conflict is a natural part of any close relationship. What matters is not whether you argue but how you handle it. Are you able to communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully? Can you resolve disagreements in a way that leads to healing rather than division?

Ephesians 4:15 calls believers to “speak the truth in love.” This balance is vital. Some couples err on the side of truth, being brutally honest but lacking gentleness. Others err on the side of love, avoiding hard conversations to keep the peace. However, healthy communication involves both honesty and grace.

Key indicators of good communication in a relationship include:

• Active listening: Do you truly hear your partner’s perspective, or are you only preparing your rebuttal while they speak?
• Emotional safety: Can you be vulnerable without fear of being mocked, dismissed, or shut down?
• Respectful disagreements: Do you attack the problem, not the person? Or do your arguments become personal and destructive?
• Healthy resolution: Do you seek reconciliation, bury issues under the rug or let resentment build?

Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if you have a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Conflict resolution in marriage often hinges on this principle. Are you quick to forgive? Are you humble enough to ask for forgiveness when you’re wrong?

Another crucial aspect of healthy communication is your ability to navigate sensitive topics, such as finances, intimacy, family boundaries, career decisions, and more. Can you talk about these openly? Or do you avoid them because they lead to tension?

Preparing for marriage means practising communication that builds trust rather than erodes it. It means learning to speak words that give life, even when upset. It means cultivating relationships where both people feel heard, valued, and safe.

7. You’re Willing to Make a Lifelong Commitment

In a world that often treats marriage as a temporary arrangement or a contract that can be broken when it no longer feels convenient, the Christian view of marriage stands in stark contrast. According to Scripture, marriage is not just a legal bond or emotional partnership but a lifelong covenant before God.

Jesus said in Matthew 19:6, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” This statement reflects the seriousness and permanence of the marriage covenant. It’s not something you enter lightly or abandon when things get hard. It’s a sacred promise to love, honour, and remain faithful “for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer.”

Love That Endures All Seasons

Real love is not based on mood, convenience, or mutual benefit but on covenant loyalty. In marriage, there will be seasons of joy and seasons of difficulty. You may face financial strain, illness, infertility, disappointment, or personal failure. The question is: Are you ready to stay and fight for your marriage when those seasons come?

1 Corinthians 13:7 says, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” This kind of enduring love doesn’t happen by accident; it’s a daily choice to put the covenant above convenience.

Are You Prepared for a Lifetime, Not Just a Season?

• Are you ready to commit to one person for life, not only emotionally but also spiritually and practically?
• Do you see your future spouse as someone who makes you happy and as someone you are called to serve, support, and grow with Christ?
• Are you both prepared to walk through valleys and not just mountaintops, trusting God to sustain your relationship?

A lifelong commitment means saying, “I’m not leaving when it gets hard. I’m staying, praying, growing, and loving through it all.” This level of commitment reflects how Christ loves us faithfully and unconditionally.

8. You’ve Prayed and Sought God’s Peace

Marriage is one of the most important decisions you will ever make, and it’s not one to approach with fear or pressure but with prayer and a listening posture. God is not silent when guiding His children; He delights in leading us when we seek Him with an open heart.

Philippians 4:6–7 reminds us: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

Are You Inviting God into Every Step?

Before you say “I do,” have you said, “Lord, is this Your will for my life?” Have you brought your relationship to God, not just occasionally, but continually? Prayer is not a box to check; it’s your lifeline for discernment, clarity, and peace.

• Have you spent time fasting and praying over this decision?
• Have you surrendered your relationship to God’s timing and leading?
• Have you asked for signs of confirmation, not out of superstition, but as a way to stay attuned to God’s direction?

Peace is one of the clearest indicators of God’s guidance. If your heart is unsettled, constantly anxious, or driven by fear, it may be a sign to pause and seek further clarity. But when you’re walking in obedience to God’s Word, aligned with wise counsel, and you feel a settled peace in your spirit, even amidst the unknown, that peace is often God’s way of saying, “You’re ready. Move forward in faith.”

Peace Isn’t the Absence of Doubt; It’s the Presence of God

It’s normal to feel nervous before making a life-altering decision like marriage. But there’s a difference between nervousness and spiritual unrest. God’s peace doesn’t always eliminate every question but anchors your heart in trust. It calms you amid uncertainty and confirms that you’re stepping in with Him.

Isaiah 26:3 offers this encouragement: “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you.” When your mind is fixed on God, and your trust is placed in Him, He will guard your heart, no matter what lies ahead.

In Conclusion

Marriage is a beautiful, sacred journey that reflects the covenant love between Christ and His Church. It is not merely a milestone or a romantic goal but a lifelong commitment to love sacrificially, serve faithfully, and grow continually in grace. Suppose you are prayerfully pursuing God, maturing in your character, aligning spiritually with your partner, and walking in wisdom with the support of godly counsel. In that case, you may be more ready for marriage than you realise.

It’s About the Direction You’re Headed, Not Just Where You Are

Readiness for marriage doesn’t mean you have all the answers or that your relationship is flawless. It doesn’t mean you’re immune to Conflict, fear, or uncertainty. Rather, it means you are willing to commit to becoming more like Christ together.

Spiritual and emotional readiness means you recognize that marriage is not a fairytale or a solution to loneliness but a calling to selfless love and partnership in the kingdom of God. You understand that joy and struggle often walk hand in hand, and you’re committed to staying faithful to both.

God’s Grace Prepares You as You Walk in Obedience

The good news is this: You don’t have to be perfect to be ready. None of us are. But if you pursue holiness, practice humility, and anchor your life in God’s truth, He is shaping you into someone who can love deeply and faithfully endure. His grace fills in the gaps where we fall short.

Psalm 37:5 encourages us to “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.” If you earnestly seek God, trust in His timing, and remain open to His leading, you can rest in His promise to guide your steps.

Marriage with Christ at the Center is a Reflection of Heaven on Earth

When Jesus is the foundation of your life and relationship, marriage becomes more than just two people living together; it becomes a ministry. It becomes a witness to what it means to love unconditionally, serve selflessly, and remain faithful through every season.

So take heart. You don’t need to wait until you’re flawless to step into this calling; you must be faithful, teachable, and centred on Christ. Marriage will challenge you, but it will also bless you beyond words when built on the rock of God’s truth.

“How to Tell When You’re Ready for Marriage: A Practical Guide”

DTA – Neil McBride

(CEO and founder of Downtown Angels)