Dating in the Bible: What Can We Learn from Biblical Principles?

Dating in the Bible: What Can We Learn from Biblical Principles?

Dating Advice

By Neil McBride

Dating today is quite different from what it was in biblical times, but I have found that the Bible still holds incredible wisdom regarding relationships and love. For instance, the story of Ruth and Boaz resonates with me; it is a beautiful example of commitment and faithfulness. Additionally, the teachings from Proverbs offer valuable insights that can guide us in how we approach love and relationship-building. In this blog, I want to share some of these timeless principles that have helped me in my journey. If you wish to date, choose a partner, or strengthen your relationship, I hope these insights inspire you to build strong, faith-filled bonds honouring God.

1. God’s Purpose for Relationships

One of the most important truths found in the Bible is that relationships, particularly marriage, are part of God’s original design for humanity. In the very beginning, in Genesis 2:18, God says, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.” This passage highlights God’s plan for companionship and connection from the start of creation. He designed human beings to be in relationships, as it is part of His divine intention for our lives. It is clear from this scripture that God does not desire for us to be isolated or alone, but to have meaningful relationships that reflect His love and purpose.

However, this does not mean everyone must be in a romantic relationship or that being single is somehow inferior. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul emphasises the value of both singleness and marriage. He explains that each state can be used to serve God in different ways. For those who are single, there is the freedom to devote oneself more fully to God’s work without the distractions that come with marriage. For married people, there is the opportunity to serve God through love, care, and unity in the marriage relationship.

What the Bible does teach is that the desire for companionship and romantic love is a natural part of our human experience, and it is a good thing when it is in line with God’s purpose for us. Love and relationships are not just about emotional fulfilment or finding a partner for personal happiness, but they are part of God’s broader plan to reflect His love to the world. Both marriage and singleness are gifts that can be used to honour God and serve others. The key is understanding that our relationships should always align with God’s will and principles, seeking to honour Him in all we do.

Ultimately, the Bible teaches that relationships are important in our lives, whether through marriage or singleness. Each has its purpose and is an opportunity to grow closer to God, learn more about His love, and share that love with others. Whether single or married, we are called to live out God’s purpose in our relationships, reflecting His love, grace, and truth.

2. Honouring God Through Purity

One of the most important teachings in the Bible regarding dating is the call to purity. In 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, Paul writes, “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God.” Here, Paul makes it clear that God’s will for believers is to live in a way that honours Him, which includes avoiding sexual immorality and living a life marked by purity and self-control.

In the original Greek, the word Paul uses for “sanctification” is “hagiasmos” (ἁγιασμός), which refers to being set apart for God’s holy purposes. This shows that purity is not just an external action, but a heart transformation, as we are called to live in a way that reflects God’s holiness. The word for purity, “hagnos” (ἅγνος), also carries the meaning of being morally clean and free from sin, aligning our lives with God’s will. On the other hand, “akatharsia” (ἀκαθαρσία), meaning impurity, describes the corruption and defilement that comes from sinful behaviours. Therefore, purity is a call to avoid the world’s corruption and align with God’s holiness.

Purity is not just about avoiding physical sin; it also extends to our emotional and spiritual lives. In dating and relationships, we are called to honour God not just with our actions but also with our thoughts and hearts. This means setting boundaries that protect both ourselves and others from temptation and treating each other with respect and care that reflects God’s love. We must be mindful of how our words, actions, and attitudes impact our relationship with God and each other.

Emotional purity involves honesty, kindness, and consideration, ensuring that our hearts are focused on God’s will rather than selfish desires. Spiritual purity means growing our relationship with God, keeping Him at the centre of all our interactions. When we approach dating with a heart of purity, we protect ourselves and create a foundation for a healthy, God-honouring relationship.

Purity in dating also involves patience and trust in God’s timing. Instead of rushing into a relationship based on fleeting emotions or desires, we are encouraged to wait on God’s guidance and seek His wisdom in all things. By maintaining purity—physically, emotionally, and spiritually, we can build relationships that honour God and lead to lasting, meaningful connections. Ultimately, purity is about living in a way that reflects God’s holiness and brings glory to Him in every part of our lives.

3. Guarding Your Heart in God’s Way

In Proverbs 4:23, we are told, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Dating can bring many emotions, excitement, attraction, and sometimes even infatuation. But the Bible calls us to be careful and thoughtful with our hearts. We must make wise choices, avoid rushing into relationships, and not give our hearts away too easily.

Guarding your heart also means seeking God’s will in your relationships and trusting He will lead you to the right person at the right time. Rather than looking for a relationship to fill a space, the Bible teaches us to seek one to honour God and show His love to others.

4. Seeking a Partner Who Shares God’s Faith

The Bible strongly encourages believers to marry within the faith. In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul writes, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” This teaching of being “equally yoked” highlights the importance of sharing the same values, beliefs, and goals with your partner, especially regarding your faith in God.

While this might seem restrictive to some, the Bible’s guidance is rooted in the idea that a shared faith provides a firm and stable foundation for a relationship. When both partners are committed to walking in God’s ways, they can more easily build a strong, enduring partnership. Shared faith strengthens the bond, making it easier to navigate life’s challenges together, and helps ensure that both partners are united in their purpose and trust in God.

5. Love is Patient and Kind

In 1 Corinthians 13, often called the “love chapter,” we find one of the Bible’s most beautiful descriptions of love. It begins with the words, “Love is patient, love is kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4). These qualities are essential in any healthy relationship, including romantic ones. True love is not based on quick satisfaction or selfish desires, but on a deep commitment to care for and serve the other person.

In dating, it’s important to practice patience, not only in the pace of the relationship but also in accepting your partner’s flaws and weaknesses. The Greek word used for patience in this verse is “makrothumia” (μακροθυμία), which means “long-suffering” or “endurance.” This shows that love involves enduring difficult times and not giving up easily. Love also requires kindness, humility, and a willingness to grow together. A healthy relationship is one where both partners show “chrestotes” (χρηστότης), which is the Greek word for kindness, gentleness, and goodness. Both partners can grow in love, respect, and understanding when they are patient and kind.

6. Commitment, Not Casualness

The Bible provides a clear picture of commitment in marriage, which serves as a model for dating. In Matthew 19:6, Jesus says, “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” The word for “joined” in Greek is “syzygos” (σύζυγος), meaning to be united or yoked together. While dating is not the same as marriage, the biblical idea of commitment and covenant should shape how we approach romantic relationships.

Dating with a commitment mindset, rather than just casual enjoyment, sets a foundation for a lasting relationship. It encourages intentionality, transparency, and trust. When we date to build something meaningful, we honour God by reflecting the covenantal love of Christ in our relationships.

7. Waiting on God’s Timing

In our fast-paced world, waiting for the right person can feel frustrating. However, the Bible encourages us to stay on God’s timing. Psalm 27:14 says, “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” The Hebrew word for “wait” here is “qavah” (קָוָה), which means to hope for or to look for with expectation. Trusting in God’s plan, including your romantic life, brings peace, knowing He will lead you to the right person at the right time.

The story of Ruth and Boaz is a beautiful example of trusting in God’s timing. Ruth did not rush into a relationship or take matters into her own hands. She patiently waited for God’s provision, and in His timing, she met Boaz, who would become her husband. Their story shows that waiting can bring about God’s best for us, as He knows the desires of our hearts better than we do.

Conclusion

While the Bible does not give us a step-by-step guide to modern dating, it provides deep and meaningful principles for our relationships. Dating is an opportunity to reflect God’s love, grow in purity, and seek His will for our lives. By following the teachings of Scripture, we can honour God in our romantic relationships, build strong and lasting partnerships, and trust that He will lead us to the right person at the right time.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we are reminded that “love is patient, love is kind.” The Greek word for patience, “makrothumia” (μακροθυμία), means long-suffering, enduring hardships without giving up. Love also requires “chrestotes” (χρηστότης), which means kindness and goodness. As you continue navigating dating today, remember that love is rooted in God’s design, patient, kind, and selfless.

Trust in the Lord’s guidance as you build relationships that honour Him. Know that He will lead you in His perfect timing and bring you into relationships that reflect His love and truth. As

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Allow God to guide you as you pursue healthy, God-honouring, and lasting relationships.

Dating in the Bible: What Can We Learn from Biblical Principles?

DTA – Neil McBride

(CEO and founder of Downtown Angels)